Nadene Goldfoot
King David, who ruled Israel from 1010 BCE till 970 BCE is still a much loved and respected personality after all these years. That's over 3,000 years of being in the minds of men. What narcissist wouldn't love to have that respect and love? How was David so different from narcisstic people?
For one thing, he never expected such reverence from anyone. He was the youngest son of Jesse, and was born in Bethlehem. At age 23, he became the armor-bearer of King Saul and was the friend of Prince Jonathan. He had talent, talent as a musician and prowess for military war.
David was supposed to be a gingery-red head which was slightly unusual amid a lot of dark-haired people. He stood out in a crowd naturally.
David was brave. When the Philistines were attacking Israel, they presented their best warrior who was a huge giant of a man as a challenge; whoever could kill him would send the Philistines home. David, a kid with a slingshot who used this little weapon on wolves who threatened his flock of sheep, felt he could do it. He took the challenge and slew Goliath. (I Sam.17:21:10).David remained as an enemy of the Philistines from then on. He succeeded in breaking the Philistine military power and annexing the entire coastal belt.
The prophet, Samuel certainly thought David was special, for he selected him to be king over Israel. Samuel was Israel's last judge during the day of Judges before they had Saul as king. Saul had gone to Bethlehem where he anointed David as Saul's successor.
His defeat of the Edomites gave the Israelites an outlet to the Red Sea at Ezion Geber. He crushed Ammon and Moab, which became subjects of Israel and decisively defeated Arm (Syria), annexing large tracts of territory including Damascus, as far as the Euphrates River. David signed treaties with Tyre and Sidon of Lebanon and extended the Israelite frontiers to an extent never again attained.
Internally, he made energetic preparations for building a central temple and organized the national administration. Religiously, he wasn't to build it as he was a king of war, but this was passed onto his son, Solomon for a goal, and he did build the Temple.
In his old age, his 3rd son, Absalom, rebelled against him and was killed in the revolt. David's succession was eventually secured by his son, Solomon, son of Bathsheba. Absalom had killed his own half-brother to avenge the rape of his sister, Tamar.
David's own desire was not checked when he first saw Bathsheba bathing on the rooftop one hot night. He gave in and had his way with her. Bathsheba was the wife of one of his own soldiers who was away fighting. David had an affair with Bathsheba, and wound up having her husband serve on the front line and get killed so he could marry her. David and Bathsheba paid for this crime emotionally.
Amnon was David's eldest son by Ahinoam, the Jezreelite. He had fallen for his half sister, Tamar and had raped her. It took Absalom 2 years to have Amnon killed for this attack. Then again, Absalom's mother is said to be Maacah, a wife of David, and daughter of Talmai, King of Geshur. David was said to father Absalom and Tamar by her. Isn't this rather typical of the children of leaders, though? Sometimes it's the gruff way of acting toward their children, and here he couldn't keep the peace among his own, and he had raised 2 killers who killed their own siblings. One thing is noticeable here, the Bible doesn't cover up the faults of its heros at all. They're pictured as original human beings. Maybe that's why David is so beloved. He's like us; a good person with faults and problems.
He stirred up a rebellion against David who had to flee across the Jordan River for safety. Absalom's army was vanquished and he himself was killed by Joab after his long hair became entangled in a tree. Absalom as a soldier is cited as a striking example of vanity (a narcissist) and rebellion. Perhaps he got that way by trying to compete with his father, David's history.
Your partner may have rationale for why they are being abusive, but reasons and rationales never excuse abuse. They are choosing to be abusive. It is NEVER your fault if someone abuses you. All forms of abuse cause emotional harm, which is often the hardest to understand and heal from. Recent studies also show that children in the home with emotional abuse, even if it is not directed towards them, have much higher cases of PTSD, anxiety and learning issues.
A narsistic personality disorder Requires a medical diagnosis. Symptoms include an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement.
As Israel's second king, David built a small empire. He conquered Jerusalem, which he made Israel's political and religious centre. He defeated the Philistines so thoroughly that they never seriously threatened the Israelites' security again, and he annexed the coastal region. He founded the Judaean dynasty and united all the tribes of Israel under a single monarch. His son Solomon expanded the empire that David built. David is an important figure in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. The thing is, he didn't go around bragging about how good he was, which a narcissist would do. He gave all the credit where credit is due, to G-d. It is said he is the author of Psalms, found in the bible.
As an example: 131: A song of ascents, by David: Hashem (G-d), my heart was not proud, and my eyes were not haughty, nor did I pursue matters too great and too wondrous for me. I swear that I stilled and silenced my soul. Let Israel hope to Hashem, from this time and forever.
Resource:
Tanach: The Stone Edition, Psalms
The New Standard Jewish Encyclopedia
https://www.britannica.com/biography/David
http://womeninthebible.net/women-bible-old-new-testaments/maacah-davids-wife/
https://abuserecovery.org/am-i-being-abused/?https://abuserecovery.org/am-i-being-abused/&gclid=CjwKCAiAn5uOBhADEiwA_pZwcOD_cbXZ6QIBYEBKEjJODdqcNiDx3NkfbKAGm027Q3ZRrFvTqZN3uhoCbL8QAvD_BwE
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